All of my children were raised Catholic, went to Sunday Mass, received all their Sacraments, and were educated from K-12 in Catholic schools. And yet, when a crisis arises in their lives, they call me for prayer.

Now, with families of their own, I’m not sure why they are reticent to pray. I feel like somewhere, somehow, along the way, culture has influenced them that prayer is ineffectual and so not something to bother with. Prayers have taken on the cultural value of superstition and platitude.

How often do we hear now, in the shadow of some unthinkable tragedy, “We don’t want your thoughts and prayers,” making it clear that many believe prayers won’t change things, won’t fix what’s happened, or make it better?

In some ways, it is easy to understand the frustration of those who are looking for answers to tragedy and looking for changes that will prevent tragedy in the future. We all know that prayers are not always answered the way we hoped for, and the natural result is disappointment and discouragement.

But it is important to understand that the purpose of prayer is not just to have our prayers answered when we want something. Prayer is meant first and foremost to nurture our relationship with God, to be in frequent conversation with God who loves us, and to help keep our hearts and minds open to God’s voice.

Prayer also builds our humility, which is not a weakness but a recognition that we are not God. We do not have all the answers, nor can we ensure that tragedies and losses will not happen. Part of that humility is the recognition that there are many times when we need to ask for forgiveness. Prayer is a means to that honesty before God.

Pope Francis says, “Praying is opening the door to the Lord so that he can do something. If we close the door, God can do nothing,” By doing something, the Holy Father is not just referring to God giving us that for which we ask, but in providing guidance in making decisions, moving us along the right path, inspiring us with hope and strength in overcoming obstacles, and forming us in faith.

As the summer moves along, there are several steps we can take to improve our prayer lives and help our students to do the same when school resumes.

Ask God for help in praying.  Follow in the footsteps of the Apostle who reached out to Jesus and said, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples” (Luke 11:1). We can ask God to not only teach us to pray, but to inspire us through the Holy Spirit to pray because sometimes getting started is the hardest step to take. 

Pray the name of Jesus. In one of my jobs, my office mate was a nun who prayed throughout the day by saying, “Jesus, help me.” Often it was in relation to computer problems, but she prayed those words so frequently it became like breathing, and I’ve never met a person more at peace. Saint Philip Neri taught, “The name of Jesus, pronounced with reverence and affection, has a kind of power to soften the heart.”

Pray continually. Well, that sounds like an impossible task, but it doesn’t mean sitting in your room or the church pew all day and offering prayers to God. Saint John Chrysostom preached that prayer is a state of mind and should serve as the foundation of our daily lives, taking place “even while walking in public or strolling alone, or seated in your shop, while buying or selling, or even while cooking.” 

Pray for others. A close family member often posts on Facebook, “I don’t do thoughts and prayers, but send me some positive energy.” Recently, she developed Covid. I messaged her on Facebook, saying, “I know you don’t do thoughts and prayers, but I do, so I’m praying every day for your recovery.” Pope Francis said, “The first way to pray for someone is to speak to God about that person. If we do this frequently, each day, our hearts are not closed but open to others. Praying for other people is the first way to love them and be close to them in a concrete way.” And it’s a wonderful prayer practice for children.

In one of his many teachings on prayer, Pope Francis shared a beautiful thought that has stayed with me as a choral singer: “Prayer is a kind of musical staff, where we arrange the melody of our lives. It is not in contrast with daily work; it does not contradict the many small obligations and appointments; if anything, it is the place where every action finds its meaning, it is reason and it is peace.”

An excellent home and classroom resource is Our Family Prays: Catholic Prayers and Traditions, which is a collection of rituals, blessings, prayers, and traditions for families striving to keep prayers at the heart of their homes.

About the Author
Mary Regina Clifford Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.

 

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Our Family Prays & Catholic Prays and Practices

Our Family Prays is a collection of rituals, blessings, prayers, and traditions meant to encourage and inspire Catholic families to keep prayer at the heart of their homes. It is organized by the seasons of the liturgical year and includes religious traditions and celebrations from around the world.

 

This small book, Catholic Prayers and Practices, including The Order of Mass, contains traditional practices and prayers that unite us as Catholics. It is designed to support you in your faith life, and it can assist you in helping the younger members of our Church learn, grow and live as active members of the Catholic community.

This resource can be used for private, family, or communal prayer. The Order of Mass section incorporates the language of the revised Roman Missal. Share the faith by giving copies of this book to others. In this way, you are sharing in the ministry of our Lord, Jesus Christ, who called us to be his disciples and to share the Good News with all people.

 

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