God is love and in himself he lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in his own image… God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion. - Catechism of the Catholic Church #2331
Human love is a fantastic mystery. God, our creator and the one who loves us beyond understanding made us with a longing; a desire to connect intimately, to please and to sacrifice for another. The mystery of attraction is fascinating. In my own experience I met my husband on a blind date. A college friend set us up and her words to me were, “He is very nice, but not that cute.” What I experienced at first sight was totally different than her assessment. His eyes were a clear vivid blue, inviting and kind. I felt totally at ease in his presence and we found much in common to continue an easy conversation throughout that first date. Why was he “the one” for me? I can only answer that with, “He was a gift from God.” There is a mystery in what attracts one person to another that was active when I first set eyes on my husband. That initial attraction led to a desire to having a better understanding of his likes, dislikes, interests, priorities, and the events that filled his days. That initial attraction left me with a desire to see him on a daily basis and to gain a deeper understanding of him as a person. It left me with a childlike enthusiasm that left open to the gift of a budding relationship. This childlike enthusiasm reminds me of the scripture, “Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it,” (Mark 10:15).
I can only imagine that the gift of attraction is similar when a man or woman experiences the call of a celibate life dedicated to Jesus. There must be a reoccurring urge to spend time with Jesus to gain a deeper understanding of Him. There must be a childlike enthusiasm and openness to build that relationship into a lasting bond.
My love had a witty sense of humor, a love of God and the Church, and impulsivity that appealed to me. I wanted to learn more about him. Do you remember what first attracted you to your spouse, fiancé, Jesus? It is good to revisit that memory and reignite that desire and childlike enthusiasm.
From this mystery of attraction and unitive desire comes an energy that witnesses beauty, truth and goodness. The beauty is each of us becomes a better person because of this loving relationship that calls us beyond ourselves. A truth that we are loved for who we are and the love that we share between each other radiates out to those we encounter. The contagious goodness that comes from the loving relationship by its very nature transforms not only us, but others.
Can you remember walking into a room and someone saying one of the following: Are you in love? What’s different? Why are you smiling from ear to ear? Do you have a secret to tell me? Revisit that time when you could not spend enough time with your love, learning and being.
Colleen has been married to husband John for 33 years; they have 5 children. She is beginning her sixth year as Director of the Family and Respect Life Office in the Archdiocese of Cincinnati.