by Mary Clifford Morrell
Yesterday, a young friend of my son, someone I had never met, dropped by with a small bouquet of flowers. She heard I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to cheer me up. I could see her smile underneath her mask and hear the sincere good wishes in her voice. I was moved by her thoughtfulness and generosity. I did, indeed, feel much better through her gesture.
Just minutes later things would change when I heard from a friend who was upset about a thoughtless, hurtful email she had received from a co-worker. She was so upset by it she found it difficult to focus on her work.
She was writing to me for help in getting down off the edge of an emotional bridge she found herself on, a situation that could have been avoided if the writer of that email had expressed her concerns with professionalism and grace.
But I wasn’t surprised. Thoughtlessness seems to have become a well-embraced mantra in these challenging times. Contemporary author Jarod Kintz explains it tongue-in-cheek: “Thoughtlessness – I try not to think about it.”
Sadly, it’s all too common.
Bewildered family members, friends, and readers frequently ask some variant of, “How could they have said that? Didn’t they stop and think about how much that might hurt me?”
The answer is usually, “They didn’t.” That’s the meaning of thoughtlessness – a careless indifference to consequences.
Fortunately, we are still blessed with the beauty of God’s wisdom, leading us to “forsake all thoughtlessness, and live; and walk in the way of understanding” (Proverbs 9:5).
One Bible commentary explains that other translations of the Bible present the Proverb as, “forsake the foolish,” referring not only to foolish people but foolish things. Some versions render it “Imprudence,” others “want of understanding” or “judgment.” But anyway it’s translated the result is “hurtful and war against the soul.”
We are challenged by our faith to be more than what our society and our culture give us permission to be. It is not an easy challenge to take up. But as Christians, we are graced with something powerful we often forget about: the Gifts of the Holy Spirit—wisdom, knowledge, understanding, fortitude, counsel, piety, and awe.
We may remember those gifts as a list we needed to memorize as we prepared for Confirmation, but in reality, they are tools of God’s grace, of God’s life within us, making it possible for us to take up the challenge posed by St. Paul to the Colossians: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one.”
Mary Regina Morrell is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.