Respect is a mutual gift between two individuals, but in raising and teaching children we often forget that even the youngest of children deserve respect. It is from our respect for them that they learn how to respect others.
As a pre-school teacher, I encountered many children with different talents, abilities, and views of the world. One of my pupils saw the world as filled with color, and his artwork was a result of that view. Purple trees and flying red dogs often graced the page of his crayon masterpieces, filled to the edges with color, until one day a teacher from another classroom stopped in to visit. She walked around the table where this youngster was drawing, leaned over, and said, “Oh, no. Trees are not purple, they are green, and dogs are not red. You should do this over.”
My student hung his head while I tactfully escorted the teacher to the door so our next activity could begin. When I returned to my student, I sat in the little chair next to him and told him his purple tree was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen, and I would give anything to have my own flying red dog. Certainly, if God made giant rainbow squirrels, which live in the forests of India, he certainly could make flying red dogs.
“Really?” he asked, his face brightening. “Absolutely,” I said, and showed him some of the photos of these amazing creatures.
I explained that not everybody had the ability to see things as colorfully as he did, and there was no reason for him to redo his art. His ability to draw was a gift God had given him.
I remember this experience vividly because when he looked up at me he had the most beautiful of smiles on his face. He then promptly picked up his crayons and added some blue and purple squirrels to his picture.
The next day, during our reading session, I brought out the book with the multicolored squirrels so all the children could see a bit of the magnificence of God’s creation. They “oohed” and “aahed” over the photos with childish wonder and, of course, from then on my young artist was not the only one to have blue, orange, and purple squirrels in his artwork.
The visiting teacher missed an important opportunity for teaching a child respect, by respecting the child’s artistic expressions. Criticism of a child’s sincere efforts is not constructive. Every child needs correction at times, but it is best not to couch criticism as a correction. Correction helps build a child up, criticism tears down.
Respecting a young child’s individuality, their vision, coupled with offering direction when needed, will help a child begin to develop an understanding of what it means to respect others.
Mary Regina Morrell, mother of six and grandmother to nine, is a Catholic journalist, author, and syndicated columnist who has served the dioceses of Metuchen and Trenton, New Jersey, and RENEW International in the areas of catechesis and communication.